Dr Doctor Wayne Dyer,
I just found out of your passing. I don’t know if I can write through these tears.
I know, that you knew, that death was not the end but an exciting new journey. I am sure, that even as I am writing to you, your spirit is behind me with one hand on my shoulder whispering “keep on writing” with that voice that always had a soothing effect on me. That’s who you were to me, that spirit who when I was at my lowest of lows could lift me up back to the connection to source which ultimately is my highest of highs.
I am sad of the loss of your physical form, that I was so looking forward to not only meeting but working with. My highest goal has been to be a younger, female version of you… of course with my unique flavor and spiritual imprint, but you were whom I looked up to, as whom I wanted to emanate. I was looking forward to our meeting and us hanging out to let you know how your work had impacted me since I was 13 years old. I wanted to let you know that the first audio book that was given to me by my dad was the one where you and Dr Deepak Chopra were having a conversation about our divinity and healing. At that age I did not understand all the concepts that you guys were teaching me, but I was hooked and I forever wanted to listen to more of you.
There was something in your voice that healed my heart. Your voice was sweetly always picking up the pieces that had been broken with my childhood traumas. I was hearing on the recordings of how you dealt with being left by your dad who was an alcoholic and then later on by your mother while she got her life together. I did not have to endure the same experiences, but knowing that you turned out beyond amazing and were grateful for these situations, which you said had made you who you were, gave me a new vision on which to look at my life.
I am forever grateful beyond words for only a few years back during a vision quest your spirit came to me. After days in a solo retreat when I had gone to the depths of despair while healing everything that had happened to me and I was looking straight at my biggest wound, and I was at the point of giving up… for really what was the whole point of this life if one had to come and heal such intense wounds? I heard you clearly as if you were right there with me and you said “so we can teach others that the wound is the portal to our greatest purpose” That day my purpose was revealed to me like a lightning bolt that shook my whole body in to complete aliveness again and I was able to forgive all and everything. For the first time I was grateful for my past exactly as it was and how it happened. I understood that I had chosen these experiences to learn from because I also was to be a teacher like you and sooth people’s hearts so they too could remember their divinity and greatness. That day I knew we would hang out and I would tell you about this…
So years later as I had to summit the first chapter of my book for my editor I remembered you saying that you would always woke up at 3 or 4 am to do your writing, so for two weeks I did just that. I woke up at that time and imagined that both of us were writing at the same time. This gave me courage to write and also there was something magical about knowing that in this way I was connecting to one of my beloved teachers- which was you. I was going to tell you this in our meeting, as every part of me knew we were going to meet soon. I even have told my closest friends that I would be on stage with you inspiring people from all over the world to love themselves deeper. I was so sure of this, specially after reading your book “You’ll see it when you believe it” trust me I have been seeing it since I was 13!.
Your transition is hard to grasp, my love goes to your family. I know that they will miss your physical form dearly. You were funny and sweet and caring and had so much connection with source. I got to feel this truth of who you were just from: reading your books, hearing your audio recordings and watching your videos and interviews. I can only imagine the good fortune it was to have experienced you in real life.
So today I light a candle for this new journey you are on. I am sure if you lived, as vibrantly in this world, the next one will be celebrating your arrival. Thank you for all that you are and were and will be. You message of love and connectedness reached me over here, first as a little girl from Peru trying to figure out life and then as a woman finding her purpose. I know you were aware of the impact your life had on others, so this letter is just one story of countless people that your essence and generous teachings transformed.
When I wake up at 4 am and start writing I will light a candle to you and while we did not to hang out while you were in the physical form, we will be hanging out nevertheless and I am sure you will be guiding me still, being my cheerleader and saying "Do not die with the music still in you” keep on writing.
I love you and Thank you.
Xochitl Ashe 2015
P.S This letter is raw and unedited. If you choose to be grammar police by all means send me an edited copy. My voice does not get stopped by my spelling and grammar challenges. I am here to love and share and you are too.
I surrender the guards at the entrance of my heart.
I kiss them on the forehead lightly and whisper to them "Go rest. It is time, you have worked hard and diligently to protect the thing I treasure the most".
They give me the keys and smile.
I open the doors and let all the light out.
~Xochitl Ashe 2013©
-- photo by Karolina Daria
When I was 16 years old I was initiated into the medicine ways of my ancestors.
I had my first ceremony with a medicine that my dad uses as he is a guide, a road man, medicine man in the wixárikar tradition of Mexico. My ceremony consisted of being alone. My beloved father set a sacred space so I could be safe and have everything I needed. It was a room on the roof of our house. Our family altar and "despacho", a place where our whole family would meditate, pray and do ceremony.
I was afraid, as I had never taken the medicine before and I knew I would be showed in to worlds that I would have only dreamed about. I would be afraid to take the medicine with a group, so alone brought up for me every fear imaginable. I had never been in a ceremony where I had to be all by myself. I really never had liked to be by my self in life. I was scared of many things but one of the fears that was very obvious to my father as I was in the midst of being a teenager was: being alone. I always needed the company of others to feel safe in my world. I needed to be liked and approved by people around me.
I was resisting doing my ceremony as it was my introduction to my path as a Medicine woman. My father who is my guide, teacher, and best friend hugged me, cleaned me with Coppal incense, eagle feathers and blessed the medicine. He asked that I may be guided and protected in to my alonenes so I could understand it and have it be a friend and place to feel at home. I started crying as he was leaving but I stayed strong covered myself with my blankets and tasted the bitter taste of the medicine.
I could write a whole book about what I learned that night. The "secrets" that were revealed as the veil between what we think "reality" is and what it really is. My world was never the same, god was talking to me and I heard her everywhere in everything.
I learned from being alone with the guidance of the medicine how necessary it is for our spirit to take the time to be by ourselves. Alone time in life, meditation, ceremony in order to listen to the wisdom that is always present. The TRUTH is that we are never alone, there is love always present. This love can be found in a rock, plant, dog, another person, even an empty room if it was at some point filled with the laughter of children and still has that energy.
Love is in the air we breath, our heart beat, the blink of our eyes. This energy even when you feel all alone with not a soul to call your friend is always whispering "I love you" as you inhale the air it provided for you to be alive.
Ahhhhh that was 20 years ago and I had to remember this ceremony today as I did ceremony by myself. I am glad I took this day to go deep in to me. All the answers were given effortlessly. I feel my joy, I feel the gratitude for this love that always wants to love us up and remind us how bad ass POWERFUL, DIVINE and BEAUTIFUL we are.
We must be alone in our aloneness to understand that we are NEVER alone. Life is a constant paradox: you must learn to be alone in order to know you are always connected.
In the midst of organizing my office and I found this POWERFUL prayer for dealing with relationships that are in conflict:
Fist see them happy and surrounded by loving healing light, visualize their higher self.
Then you say to them:
"I forgive you completely and freely. I release you and let you go. As far as I am concerned the incident that happened between us, is finished forever. I wish the best for you. I wish for you the highest good. I hold you in light and I am FREE and you are FREE and all again is well between us. PEACE BE WITH YOU"
It is a new day!!!
The whole earth is rejoicing and dancing because you are here. Pachamama, Mother earth fully supports you as your feet touch her with your every step. The trees whisper they love you with the oxygen that you breathe in. The animals have held council all night to see who will guide you. It seems like a hawk will reassure you are on the right path and a hummingbird will remind you to be tender with your heart.
Will you remember that this whole existence has been orchestrating a celebration for your highest good?
Will you stop and smell the flowers that will remind you of who you are as their scent heals all past heartbreak?
All you need to do is BE with nature.
Be grateful for all that is here for you!!!
How can it not be all beauty when we all are Mother Earth's favorite child?
~ Xochitl Ashe 2013 ©
Gratitude will create the jam that the universe will have on replay on her ipod and will dance to for eternity!
What will you create today? As your eyes open to this day be aware of the thoughts that you generate. You are beyond powerful and are creating a universe to step in to with the vibration of your heart. Your thoughts and feelings create your vibration. Music is sound vibration so it helps to think of it this way: you are like a musical instrument playing songs that the universe will respond to. Will the universe get down and breakdance, salsa, shake its booty to your song? If not, are you playing a song that the universe will not dance to but instead sit down because the beat is not that great and its actually a sad song?
Choose to play some good music with your life!
It is an exciting world if you are having beautiful thoughts. You are the DJ of the dance floor of your life. Remember, there is more light than dark (just that the media is controlled by low vibrations so it appears that this is not the reality). Remember who you are! You are beautiful, magical, an iridescent unique expression of God, source energy, the universe.
Choose to be grateful for all the qualities in yourself that make you who you are. Be thankful your health, your wealth (not just measured by a bank account) your family, your community, and your eyes to see this. Choose gratitude for the things that are coming in the future. Gratitude will create the jam that the universe will have on replay on her ipod and will dance to for eternity!
~Xochitl Ashe 2013 ©
When a woman is ready to step in to her throne as a Queen and be the Divine Feminine fully expressed these are some of the insights that are revealed:
1) She loves and celebrates herself completely and from this place she is in the service to the whole.
2)She is guided by her heart and her intuition. She honors her emotions and knows that she is a sensitive being and her vulnerability is her strength.
3) To sit in her throne could sometimes be challenging or exciting, it is in her choosing. Who she was before is dying to birth a new conscious way of loving herself and others like never before. It is Blissful to surrender to herself and who she truly is.
4) She can no longer bend for anyone or anything that is not for her highest good, she sits powerfully in who she truly is and has the love and humility to expand.
5)She sees and honors all women as Queens even if they forgot about their true identity. She values sisterhood and is in constant celebration of this unity. She is an inspiration and guide for women to remember they are Queens.
6) She is irresistible at every moment (and she knows it). She is always an invitation to love. She is clear that she no longer goes looking for love or approval outside herself, but she creates it/allows it. The Queen knows that she is the SOURCE, the infinite fountain of this most precious elixir. She is the celebration they are all coming to.
7) When she decides to allow a partner into her life she ONLY chooses her equal. This divine partner recognizes her as a Queen and bows to her in love, devotion and commitment. Together they are of service to their highest good, the highest good of the partnership and the community.
Xochitl Ashe © 2012
A little something from the archives to remember to live by today : )
" A smart man does not choose the most beautiful woman in the world, but chooses the woman who can make his world the most beautiful." ~Unknown.
Whatever you want in this world requires a part of you to change in order to allow it in your life. You can not have "it" from where you are right now otherwise "it" would already be yours. You must give what you are wanting to have. Sometimes the giving is uncomfortable because it stretches us in ways that we have not experienced before. Stay true to you as this is your highest calling. Trust that by going beyond your past limitations in order to give, you are already making way for "it" to easily and effortlessly arrive. It is this journey of envisioning "it", then taking on the change needed that we become more of who we really are. We are magnificent divine beings worthy of all our dreams being realized. The universe can't wait for you to know your worth so you can have it all.