Dr Doctor Wayne Dyer,
I just found out of your passing. I don’t know if I can write through these tears.
I know, that you knew, that death was not the end but an exciting new journey. I am sure, that even as I am writing to you, your spirit is behind me with one hand on my shoulder whispering “keep on writing” with that voice that always had a soothing effect on me. That’s who you were to me, that spirit who when I was at my lowest of lows could lift me up back to the connection to source which ultimately is my highest of highs.
I am sad of the loss of your physical form, that I was so looking forward to not only meeting but working with. My highest goal has been to be a younger, female version of you… of course with my unique flavor and spiritual imprint, but you were whom I looked up to, as whom I wanted to emanate. I was looking forward to our meeting and us hanging out to let you know how your work had impacted me since I was 13 years old. I wanted to let you know that the first audio book that was given to me by my dad was the one where you and Dr Deepak Chopra were having a conversation about our divinity and healing. At that age I did not understand all the concepts that you guys were teaching me, but I was hooked and I forever wanted to listen to more of you.
There was something in your voice that healed my heart. Your voice was sweetly always picking up the pieces that had been broken with my childhood traumas. I was hearing on the recordings of how you dealt with being left by your dad who was an alcoholic and then later on by your mother while she got her life together. I did not have to endure the same experiences, but knowing that you turned out beyond amazing and were grateful for these situations, which you said had made you who you were, gave me a new vision on which to look at my life.
I am forever grateful beyond words for only a few years back during a vision quest your spirit came to me. After days in a solo retreat when I had gone to the depths of despair while healing everything that had happened to me and I was looking straight at my biggest wound, and I was at the point of giving up… for really what was the whole point of this life if one had to come and heal such intense wounds? I heard you clearly as if you were right there with me and you said “so we can teach others that the wound is the portal to our greatest purpose” That day my purpose was revealed to me like a lightning bolt that shook my whole body in to complete aliveness again and I was able to forgive all and everything. For the first time I was grateful for my past exactly as it was and how it happened. I understood that I had chosen these experiences to learn from because I also was to be a teacher like you and sooth people’s hearts so they too could remember their divinity and greatness. That day I knew we would hang out and I would tell you about this…
So years later as I had to summit the first chapter of my book for my editor I remembered you saying that you would always woke up at 3 or 4 am to do your writing, so for two weeks I did just that. I woke up at that time and imagined that both of us were writing at the same time. This gave me courage to write and also there was something magical about knowing that in this way I was connecting to one of my beloved teachers- which was you. I was going to tell you this in our meeting, as every part of me knew we were going to meet soon. I even have told my closest friends that I would be on stage with you inspiring people from all over the world to love themselves deeper. I was so sure of this, specially after reading your book “You’ll see it when you believe it” trust me I have been seeing it since I was 13!.
Your transition is hard to grasp, my love goes to your family. I know that they will miss your physical form dearly. You were funny and sweet and caring and had so much connection with source. I got to feel this truth of who you were just from: reading your books, hearing your audio recordings and watching your videos and interviews. I can only imagine the good fortune it was to have experienced you in real life.
So today I light a candle for this new journey you are on. I am sure if you lived, as vibrantly in this world, the next one will be celebrating your arrival. Thank you for all that you are and were and will be. You message of love and connectedness reached me over here, first as a little girl from Peru trying to figure out life and then as a woman finding her purpose. I know you were aware of the impact your life had on others, so this letter is just one story of countless people that your essence and generous teachings transformed.
When I wake up at 4 am and start writing I will light a candle to you and while we did not to hang out while you were in the physical form, we will be hanging out nevertheless and I am sure you will be guiding me still, being my cheerleader and saying "Do not die with the music still in you” keep on writing.
I love you and Thank you.
Xochitl Ashe 2015
P.S This letter is raw and unedited. If you choose to be grammar police by all means send me an edited copy. My voice does not get stopped by my spelling and grammar challenges. I am here to love and share and you are too.